Usually I claim culture is just an excuse for doing bad things. This story is no exception. Phil is part Sicilian and his father is the real deal. The Musumeci's are a generous loving people, but when it comes to sheer will, or just being really pissed they take first place. Because of our obsession of mob movies anyone with that thick accent gets our imagination running. Phil's father Phil all though not connected,posseses that very accent, and gratefully for me lives up to the hype. One such occasion was at a forth of July family barbecue at a neighbors house. Philip (that's what we'll call the younger so we don't get mixed up) started whining because he didn't want steak. Phil thought Philip a little bitch, and told him so. Philip decided to let his dad know he didn't appreciate that in a disrespectful manor which blew the lid off that pot so high some neighbors still haven't recovered. F- bombs started flying, as the threats kept increasing in severity. Finally Phil took it to the scary point when he picked his steak knife up held it to Philip's face and said "I'll cut your face off with this f-n knife. Philip did the smartest thing he had done all afternoon and got up and walked away. However as he walked he kept his mouth running saying things like " come on, dad", which got the response from papa Phil "I kicked the shit out of you before and I'll do it again" Then to my knowledge the only threat that was actually held was uttered from Philip's sweet New Yorker mother who said "I'm not speaking to the both of you's" . Philip confirmed that she didn't for about two weeks.
I think the most amazing part of all of this is how the barbecue just continued on after like no ones life had been threatened. Phil ate his steak, Philip didn't, and we all enjoyed fireworks that night except poor sweet Barb Musumeci who was mightily embarrassed by her men
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You failed to mention that as the tension at said barbeque was at it's highest, there I was laughing like a hyena.
ReplyDeleteYou are a dumb bastard! Writing about your friends like this I'll bet you are the little bitch that no one even ever notices,just sitting in the back like a damned bug
ReplyDeleteFirst off I've been close to three bills for most of my life, so I can't really hide if I wanted to. Second My name is Philip Yawn and I live in Riverton Utah.I would give you my address but I don't remember it because I just moved there Mr Anonymous, so who here is hiding. I love how everyone is so damned brave on the internet.Let me know if you need more info punk ass! Third point, You just wish you had a friend so they could write about you
ReplyDeleteWhatever. This is hilarious. It is the best thing ever.
ReplyDeleteIt's been forever, I can't wait for the next one!!
ReplyDelete