Some Things That gotta Go

To start off, this post is dedicated to Emily Crane. The reasons for this dedication is for one; she checks my blog every day (most who check it every month will find themselves disappointed, due to the lack of updating). Reason two; This was her idea, that I write on things that just gotta go. On a side note, she is looking fantastic these days, right sexy if I do say so myself. Now on to the freak show that is this blog

Here is a list of things that need to be done away with, burned, disfigured, maimed, hunted down, and just removed from society.

First One : war ; I believe it's time we practiced world peace. Oh what? you thought this was going to be a funny blog? Yeah it is. I'm just messing. Go ahead and have your wars. War away, I've got bigger concerns(as you'll see under this) besides if I gave my opinion on war, i would just get a lot of people swearing at me. I'll save that for Facebook.

the real first thing is : Fiber One bars; Man those things need to go. The biggest problem I have with them is they are so delicious. Much like sin however, they bare a great consequence. They rip your innards a sunder. The flatulence they create is horrible enough that those around you may need counseling for the post-traumatic stress disorder.They are akin to a laxative crack. I can't help but eat them. They need to be taken off the market before too many family's and friendships are ruined.

The next thing : Calling Someone a Douche Bag; This has become overused and abused. There was a time when this insult would almost always double me over in laughter. those times are long gone. I myself still use it on occasion, but don't even realize it. And that's because it gets no reaction, due to its acceptance. And that just doesn't work for me. Sometimes to keep it "fresh" I'll give the bag a rest and call on the nozzle. I don't understand why the bag gets all the love anyway. Maybe this is getting too graphic for some, but see I'm back with the shock. So try calling someone a douche nozzle instead.

Another one : The Letter H; Who really needs it? the french already just use it as decoration. Take my name for instance. How the hell does that make any sense? oh, so you put next to a P and magically it becomes an F? Yeah I probably should have thought this blog out a bit more before I started writing. But still, screw you letter H, and your magic.

No More Nazi Movies; There's something we don't need any more of. They should just lock the genre up with Inglorious Basterds. In fact no more Hitler references either. We can be more current when we want to make comparisons that don't really fit.Think the girl in math class that would say "Yeah, well Hitler would make his people..." how much cooler would it be if she used Pol Pot or Adi Amin. Between Schindler's List and The Pianist. is enough for me to want to call it a day with society.And now I've got to watch 500 more? Even Indiana Jones has moved on to the Russians, I think I'll do the same. Ah who am I kidding, I'll still watch everyone of them that comes out, and probably shed tears every time.

Lakers and Red Sox Fans. Bad people, every last one of you.

And I'll finish with what I think need to go most of all. People that are always pissed, or are pissy all the time. If you fall into this category (which you wont identify with, but will probably think of someone else that you think does) then just know that you suck to be around. Sure it's funny when Don Rickles does it, or House on the show House. But you ain't them. You just come off as a jerk. "It's a fool who is offended, when no offense was intended." So stop being angry at everyone, start smiling every once in a while, and realize it's nice to be nice. Punk.

I'm sure i could come up with many more things that need to go. Just in-case you were wondering