The Drug Personality Test

Today I had to take a trip to Logan for work. I was cruising along in a sweet Ford Taurus getting flipped off by beemers, when my co-worker Jackie Neerings and I conversed about what drug our personality would be. I felt like I would be cocaine, because i can sure make a dull situation fun and you almost always leave with less brain cells. Jackie said she would be crack because once you get her in your system you can't get her out. I thought that to be very clever and extremely confident, but it got me thinking with all these personality quizzes being the thing (I see about forty a day on my home page on facebook) isn't it about time for the "narcotic personality test". So here it is and it is every bit as scientific as those Chinese animal ones. I would rather be smack than a goat or a rat any day.

Weed person: if you are the one that says "lets do something" and then when you're asked "O.K., what do you want to do?" and you respond "I don't know" then you are in this category. you like to have a good time, but you suck at making decisions and would rather defer to others to make them for you. You usually are a fun time if accompanied by the right other drug personality.

Mushroom Person: If you hear " what the hell are you talking about" more than once a day then this is your spot my friend. A good example of this would be my friend Ed Johnson (see rest of blog). Like the drug not a lot of research has been done because no one can take that much of you. However you do make for a great story after.

Alcohol Person: you are the person making fun of everyone else, but if they dare shoot back you are ready to knock some teeth out. You are insecure and try to mask it with over-confidence. you usually start out fine and then over do it. You are the one everyone talks about when you're not there saying things like "man they make me uncomfortable" This is a bad one. Don't be this person.

Meth Person: You are very loyal. you would give you're two front teeth if asked. you're the kind of person who always says yes. If a friend asked you to join them for a movie and you didn't have the cash, you would overdraw your bank account just so you didn't disappoint them.

Steroid Person: This person is often referred to as a "Tool" there pumps are flowing full blast and are always viewing others as a threat. they are also known as "one uppers" If you tell a story they tell a better one. If you climb a pole they climb it faster. They usually are good with the opposite sex, so keep these people kind of close. also they might really be on roids.

Acid Person: You are the deep thinkers of the group. In fact sometimes you think so deep no one can stay with you. You are full of ideas that are so vague and yet so huge that follow through is near impossible. but when you can figure out you crazy dream its pure euphoria.

I think what we learn from this test is that it's best to experiment in all the groups and not stick with just one drug personality.

(note: the author of this blog does not condone the use of any of the aforementioned substances. In contrast, he is a strong proponent of "Hugs not Drugs" programs)