The other day I visited the Utah state fair. It had been years since I ventured into the blessed celebration. What I do remember from my youth is mostly was the unpleasant aroma cow manure, dudes in cowboy hats trying to sell RVs, and junior firemen sticker badges. I also retain vivid memories of the giant slide that you would ride down in a potato sack leaving h
alf of your skin behind on the slide. This year I went more on a whim. My sister Suzy suggested it to me while we were enjoying some burgers at Fudruckers. Since I'm always up for an adventure, I said what the hell why not and off we went to honor our states heritage by sniffing poop and looking at freakish animals( at least they don't use human freaks anymore). When we arrived, after looking at some point quilting projects,and purchasing some five dollars sunglasses we were ushered in
to a strange tent by some friendly looking carnies with promises of great storybook without words. I enthusiastically sat down and excited for this magical story which turned out to be about Jesus and wasn't much of a story at all, more of a question and answer session. He was right about one thing, his book had no works in it, only a bunch of colors symbolizing different points of this man's sermon. He must've however seen my focus was not on his lord and master but rather on funnel cake, because he stopped abruptly and gave us release from his non-stories preaching.
Feeling a little gypped about not actually hearing a story, I was in sore need of that funnel cake and Suzy had a hankering for some fried alligator. As we neared our destination we were accosted by a robot of all things. Suzi, being filled with childlike wonderment most of the time, and be attracted to flashing lights, engage in a strange conversation with said robot. the robot congratulated us on fine marriage. When Susie attempted to correct his mistake, and told him that you were in deed brother and sister and not married, it was apparent that robots have no social faux pas about incest because even after the explanation he still congratulated us on how well we looked together. He then at least properly introduced himself as ICan because in his words "I can do anything". I figured this robot needed some exposing, so I asked him" can you eat fried alligator on a stick?"he answered" no, I have no digestive tract". I've had just about enough of the lying, incestuous robot and bid him good day. Finally I made it to my original goal and purchased some funnel cake and Suzy got her gator on a stick. Within moments I realized my body was not meant for fair food, and I felt as if my stomach had flipped, a practice I thought was only reserved for dogs. Suzi's gator treated her no better, and we ended up on a bench both moaning and holding our stomachs." I'm all torn up inside" was all I could mutter for the next 10 minutes. After I was able to walk again we started to leave and we happened on a seeing-eye dog that wasn't seeing for anyone, just walking free. At first I was nervous that a blind person without their aid but then I recalled the preacher and his tent and thought of course a blind person would be
drawn into the promise of a storybook without words. I also imagined that the storyteller probably told him his blindness was caused by his lack of faith and freed the dog. With that solid reasoning we left the fair for another year with a sense that I had regained a missing part of my life, and not just the manure smell
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